2025
Myrtle Beach, SC
2025
Meet the Captains and the players for 2025!
Team Timmy
Captain Tim Gallagher
Career Record: 11-5-0
WOOOO! ⌚ Let me tell ya somethin’ about TIM! The Rolex wearin’, 3-wood swingin’, putt makin’, pressure takin’, kiss-stealin’, green-readin’ CAPTAIN of the team! He’s the conscience in the cart, the swagger in the swing, the calm in the storm! And when TIM steps on the tee? The fairways part, the putts drop, and the W walks itself to the scoreboard! WOOOO! 👑
Jimmy Kocka
Career Record: 3-11-2
Meet Jimmy—Paddy’s right-hand man, the courtroom shark by day and strip club connoisseur by night. With a briefcase in one hand 💼 and a dollar, dollar bills in the other, 💵 he’s closing cases and making it rain like it's all in a day's work. Whether it’s winning in court or tipping dancers, Jimmy’s got his priorities straight—and they’re all about the fun.” 🍾
Jeff "Fatty J" Bays
Career Record: 5-9-2
They call him Fatty J, and he’s quick with the quip,
Talkin’ trash to Tim with that signature lip! 🎤💥
He’s loud off the tee and on the green too,
The king of the chirp and the roast machine.
Win or lose, he’s got something to say—
And he’ll say it loud, the Fatty J way - F*@k You Tim!⚡️
Matt "Poles" Deano
Career Record: 9-7-0
🎪Step right up for the man of the hour—Deano the ringmaster, thin legs, big power!
With limbs like flagpoles and a swing full of spice,
He’ll slice it so hard you’d swear it’s on ice.
A hundred-yard fairway? He’ll miss it with flair,
His ball’s got a passport—it’s never still there!
But don’t be fooled by that wild ol’ flight,
He’s the ringmaster, baby, and he runs this sh!t tight! 🏆
Chris Jones
Career Record: 0-0-0
Chris bleeds burnt orange, proud as they come, 🤠
Claims his drives boom like a Texas drum. 🥁
But that swing? More rodeo than pro,
And his chips chunk harder than dry El Paso.
He bought his putter game just last week, 🤑
Still searching the green like hide-and-seek.
And when the heat hits, forget the score— 🌡️
He’s sweatin’ through polos by hole number four! 😓
Adam McMahan
Career Record: 0-0-0
A sunburned preacher with skin like toast, 🔥
Smokes his stogies and slices the most.
Irish roots, but his feet are small,
Size 7 shoes on a man so tall.🍀
He once drank heavy, now puffs cigars,
Hits holy fades that don’t go far.
With fire and faith, he’ll tee it high,
Then ask the Lord, “Please let it fly!” 🙏
From pulpit to fairway, he's full of grace —
Just don’t race him, he’s not built for pace! ⛳
Team Paddy Gs
Captain Pat Gallagher
Career Record: 8-7-1
They call him Paddy—our fearless lead,
Stubby little fingers, but built for speed.
He crushes the ball, sends it far and wide, 🏌️♂️💥📏
But his putter’s a weapon, so best run and hide.
⛳️ Clubs break, balls fly, and the greens quake—Paddy’s game’s a legend in the making… or breaking!
Steve "Steveo" Meilinger
Career Record: 9-7-0
Steveo rolls in—no shoes, no fear, 🦶
Charging his watch off a cold can of beer.
He’s the handicap hero, the scorecard sage,
Running the tech like a wizard onstage.
Barefoot bandit, spreadsheets tight,
Updating your stats mid-round, mid-flight.
So if your app’s down or your score’s a mess,
Call Steveo—he’s tech support in a golf vest! 🤖💻
Chris Farmer
Career Record: 0-0-0
They call him Farmer, and he's out to play,
With a bottle of Jack and a swing gone astray 🥃.
He nukes it off tee like he’s chasing the sun ☀️,
But around the green? It's a whole different fun ⛳️.
He chunks more wedges than a buffet line,
But when he connects—man, that ball takes flight time! ✈️
Divots fly, scorecards cry, but make no mistake—
This Farmer's out here raisin' coursequake! 🌾💥
Andrew "Drew" Ginter
Career Record: 7-6-3
Sippin' Gin and laughin’ with ease, 🍸
Big grizzly bear, bombin’ drives like a breeze.
Never in a rush, always in control,
Hits it long, always fun, always on a roll.
Gin in hand, swingin' smooth, no stress,
Drew’s the one you want, no need to impress.
Cause Drew’s rollin’ with that Gin and Juice! 🍾
Mario Piscitello
Career Record: 0-0-0
Mario—short in height, tall in spirit, and 100% Italiano. After a few drinks,🍷 the words get mushy, but the swing stays plushy.
He slaps drives down the fairway like he's tenderizing a veal cutlet—loud, proud, and straight down Broadway. Mangia, baby! 🍝
“The Meatball Missile—Short King. Long Swing.”
