In Memoriam:
Every year, a few guys can't hang. This is where we remember them — whether they like it or not.
Fallen Soldiers of the 2026 Cup
Chris Jones
Career record: 2-4-2 (2025 only)
One Cup. One 2-4-2. One Night 3 that ended with him redecorating the balcony via projectile, live, for an audience. And now he's out because the trip dared to move off its original weekend, and Jones — shockingly — already had a "daddy-daughter trip" booked. Very sweet.
Very convenient timing for a guy whose only career appearance was a losing record and a balcony crime scene nobody's let go of. We're sure the trip was real. We're less sure his stomach didn't unionize and vote no on ever coming back.
Mario Piscitello
Career record: 3-3-2 (2025 only)
One Cup. A flawless, spineless 3-3-2. Couldn't commit to winning, couldn't commit to losing, and this year couldn't even commit to finishing the weekend — his excuse for skipping 2026 is that his schedule's too tight to stick around through the cookout, because apparently showing up for free food and drinks after golf is the demanding part of this trip.
"SKABEECH!," he says, sprinting to his car before the first steak hits the grill. The guy finishes exactly .500 in golf and 0% in staying for the part everyone actually remembers.
Nominations for future Wall of Shame entries can be submitted the moment someone says the words "I might not be able to make it."
The Archive
Past years' entries stay up here permanently. If a guy redeems himself and comes back, his old roast doesn't disappear — it just becomes a badge of honor he has to live down!
