2026
Gallagher Cup
2026
Meet your Captains and the Players for 2026!
The Captains:
Pat Gallagher
Career Record: 12-9-3
They call him Paddy—our fearless lead,
Stubby little fingers, but built for speed.
He crushes the ball, sends it far and wide, 🏌️♂️💥📏
But his putter’s a weapon, so best run and hide.
⛳️ Clubs break, balls fly, and the greens quake—Paddy’s game’s a legend in the making… or breaking!
Timmy Gallagher
Career Record: 16-6-2
WOOOO! Let me tell ya somethin’ about TIM!
The Rolex wearin’, ⌚ 3-wood swingin’, putt makin’, pressure takin’,
Jetplane flyin’, 🛩️ Steakhouse-dinin’, kiss-stealin’, green-readin’
…. 🐿️ 🐿️ SQUIRREL!🐿️ 🐿️
CAPTAIN of the team!
And when TIM steps on the tee?
Although sometimes he hits a WHEEEE… The fairways part, the putts drop, and the W walks itself to the scoreboard!
WHOOO!👑
The Players:
Andrew "Drew" Ginter
Career Record: 8-12-4
Sippin' Gin and laughin’ with ease, 🍸
Big grizzly bear, 🐻 bombin’ drives like a breeze.
Never in a rush, always in control,
Hits it long, always fun, always on a roll.
Gin in hand, swingin' smooth, no stress,
Drew’s the one you want, no need to impress.
Cause Drew’s rollin’ with that Gin and Juice! 🍾
Chris Farmer
Career Record: 5-2-1
They call him Farmer, and he's out to play,
With a bottle of Jack and a swing gone astray 🥃.
He nukes it off tee like he’s chasing the sun ☀️,
But around the green? It's a whole different fun ⛳️.
He chunks more wedges than a buffet line,
But when he connects—man, that ball takes flight time! ✈️
Divots fly, scorecards cry, but make no mistake—
This Farmer's out here raisin' coursequake! 🌾💥
Matt "Poles" Deano
Career Record: 9-13-2
🎪 Step right up for the man of the hour—
Deano the ringmaster, thin legs, big power!
With limbs like flagpoles and a swing full of spice,
He’ll slice it so hard you’d swear it’s on ice.
A hundred-yard fairway? He’ll miss it with flair,
His ball’s got a passport—it’s never still there!
Rumor is Deano made a hush-hush ER run,
Claiming a "ruptured left anterior labia"... second to none.
Now he's petitioning the committee with all of his might,
For a few extra strokes—'cause "it's a medical right!"
He’s the ringmaster, baby, and he runs this sh!t tight! 🎪
Mitch "Catfish" Scolaro
Adam McMahan
Career Record: 6-1-1
A sunburned preacher with skin like toast, 🔥
Smokes his stogies and slices the most.
Irish roots, but his feet are small,
Size 7 shoes on a man so tall.🍀
He once drank heavy, now puffs cigars,
Hits holy fades that don’t go far.
With fire and faith, he’ll tee it high,
Then ask the Lord, “Please let it fly!” 🙏
From pulpit to fairway, he's full of grace —
Just don’t race him, he’s not built for pace! ⛳
Kurt Rosenwald
Career Record: 2-5-1
He’s still an asshole, loud and proud, 😈
Ray Fogg wrote a song — 3 minutes, sung out loud.
Last year's Ryder Cup? Jäger was his fuel,
By Saturday afternoon... he forgot every rule.
His golf game’s a ghost, no one’s seen it land,
Maybe he'll show, maybe he'll bail — ain't that just grand?
Talks big, swings... ??? — no one's sure,
But another shot of Jäger somehow becomes the cure.
Love him or roast him, there's no in between,
He's the wildcard king, the clubhouse machine.
Ray wrote the anthem. Jäger wrote the sequel. 🍻 🥃⛳
Steve "Steveo" Meilinger
Career Record: 13-10-1
Steveo rolls in—no shoes, no fear, 🦶
Charging his watch off a cold can of beer.
He’s the handicap hero, the scorecard sage,
Running the tech like a wizard onstage. 👨💻
Barefoot bandit, spreadsheets tight,
Updating your stats mid-round, mid-flight.
So if your app’s down or your score’s a mess,
Call Steveo—he’s tech support in a golf vest! 🤖💻
Jimmy Kocka
Career Record: 9-12-3
Meet Jimmy—Paddy’s right-hand man, the courtroom shark by day and strip club connoisseur by night. With a briefcase in one hand 💼 and a dollar, dollar bills in the other, 💵 💰he’s closing cases and making it rain like it's all in a day's work. Whether it’s winning in court or tipping dancers, Jimmy’s got his priorities straight—and they’re all about the fun.” 🍾
Athletic Jeff Bays .aka Cougar Slayer
Career Record: 10-12-2
They used to call him Fatty J—that nickname's expired,
Now it's Athletic J, somehow leaner and inspired. 💪
Last year's Ryder Cup wasn't won on the course...
Athletic J posted the only off-course victory that counted.
👩❤️💋👨🍆
Still quick with the quip and never short on lip,
Especially when Tim starts flapping his lip. 🎤💥
He's loud off the tee and even louder at night,
Always convinced that somehow he's right.
Win or lose, he's got something to say—
And he'll say it loud, the Athletic J way...
"F@K YOU, TIM!"*⚡️
Kade Rosenwald
Career Record: 0-0-0
They call him Kade, the prince to Kurt's throne,
Raised on Miller Lite and Jäger before he was fully grown. 🍺
An OU grad with mortgages by day,
Degenerate gambler the minute we play.
Can't shotgun a beer like the old man can,
But he'll gladly take Dad's money on the course instead.
More worried 'bout matching his shirt to his shoes,
Than whether his partner is starting to lose.
And if the putts stop dropping? Stand clear of the blast— 🤯
His temper catches Pat's... and neither comes in last.
Pair those two together when they're down a hole,
And Chernobyl starts looking under control. 💥🏌️
Proof that evolution is real—he finally beat his dad at golf... just not at drinking. 🍻😆
